Reflections

We chased summer around the world. How did it change us? What did I learn? I’m sure answers will percolate for a long time to come. At the same time, answers have been percolating since the beginning. These are ones that bubble to the top.

First and foremost, we are closer. This is what brings me the most joy. Our love and relationships are deeper than ever. This really was the point. Spending time with the people we love really matters.

Our culture pulls families apart. This became so obvious so fast. The default on the road is to be together. The default at home is the opposite. It requires effort to overcome it. The relentless pace of the culture, the news cycle, business cycles, corporate America, school and activities … it’s not family-centric. Justin bought Japanese placemats and chopsticks telling us it was to keep our family togetherness flowing upon return.

A simple life is a greater life. I remember being in Patagonia in Tokyo and seeing one of their Live Simply stickers. The tagline hit me differently than ever before. For the first time I deeply got it. I bought the sticker. Less stuff, less complexity, more space for people and things you love. I admit the irony in buying the sticker!!

We were born lucky. I have a childhood memory of seeing a world map depicting childhood access to safe water and education by region. It was a wake up call that so many kids have so little. It made me realize I am lucky. The data spoke to my head but not my heart. It wasn’t until I witnessed poverty in my 20’s and now again in my 50’s that the truth of our luck and privilege sinks in. It is vast. So much of it we take for granted. Now with my lived experience and struggles of going from 20 to 50, I realize that even my hopes and worries are a privilege.

Humans are kind. At first my radar was up for danger, as I considered safety and risks of world travel with kids, including one queer kid. But it turns out there’s so much goodness in the world. We encountered kindness everywhere. I want to keep coming back to this truth when things feel hard and divided. The news is not a reflection of life on this planet.

Love is infinite, love more. I think there are 100’s of kinds of love. But we have just one word. Apparently the Greek have seven words for Love. I think they are onto something. I think we hold the word too closely. I think we should use it more. I don’t think it would diminish the word. I think it would unleash it. Humans need to love and be loved. At the beginning of our trip I stumbled across a Tibetan proverb in St John’s, Newfoundland: “The secret to living well and longer is eat half, walk double, laugh triple, and love without measure”. Want to laugh more too!!

Our home planet needs help. Climate change is everywhere. You see village spigots reduced to a drip. You see coral reefs bleached and dying. You hear of climate-stabilizing typhoons disappearing. You hear stories of hotter and hotter summers. You know the rain falling on your roof was a deadly flood just hours away. You bear witness to the truth that the poorest will suffer most as the climate continues to change. They already are.

History is a b*tch. It explains everything and a lot of it sucks. It’s wild how well some countries are doing while others struggle. The depth and breadth of colonialism became visible to us like never before. Who came, who stayed, who left, when, why and how. Racism, slavery, corruption and other evils are global phenomenon. You learn of so much historical bad shit. You struggle to reconcile all the day to day kindness with so much evil. You are reminded that ultimately a small number of humans in power drive the fate of nations. It was true then, it is true now.

Mothers eat last. Motherhood is one of life’s greatest joys, and very, very hard. We do it against the backdrop of systems that are failing us worldwide. Never enough childcare, parental leave, or healthcare. And even less for women of color who have appalling maternal healthcare outcomes relative to white women. We do it alone because modern villages have dissolved. We don’t complain but we forsake our sleep, our bodies, our ambitions because you can’t have it all at once. And this is how it’s going in the developed world. Imagine motherhood in second and third world countries. It was humbling to see it. The world is lucky that mothers are tough as shit.

Travel breeds empathy. You’re in their world. You’re the minority. All of a sudden “global news” is local. You see people with far less than you. You have to reckon with how much you have. You witness their reality. You hear their stories. You cry about things you’ve known forever, like WWII atomic bombs, but were previously too far away to stir emotion. You cry about new-news like the implosion of USAID having met mothers and children whose lives will be impacted. Wholly new ‘categories of empathy’ have space to emerge. For me it was empathy for animals and oceans.

Unbecoming is part of my journey. This trip marked the conscious beginning of my unbecoming but the truth is it started years ago. I feel like I reclaimed my adventurous spirit on this trip. The inspo? “Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” - Paulo Coelho

Many things I knew or believed were further affirmed on this journey. My wellbeing is fueled by being outside and exercise. Some discomfort and challenge help me feel alive. I’m an endless work-in-progress and I like that. I love sleep and snuggling into bed. Family and friends are essential soul food. Having impact in service of others matters to me. I loooove to laugh and aspire to be funnier.

So what do I do about all this? I don’t know. It’s still marinating. I do know that I am forever changed. What a gift.

Spain October 2024. I remember looking at this pic after I snapped it and thought “we’ve literally never looked happier”.